


The Only Thing

by otterator



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otterator/pseuds/otterator
Summary: Yugyeom is content with his life, till his isn't.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Kim Yugyeom
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

Yugyeom flops on his back, the grass stinging through his sweat cladded shirt but his lungs don't give a damn as his body decides that this is how he dies. 

“Why,” Yugyeom says in between long breaths. “Why do I let you guys talk me into doing this?”

“Because you secretly love us?” Jackson quips from where he’s resting his head on Mark’s stomach. Mark looks like he's gonna pass out any time soon, his arm resting across his eyes.

“Because we treat you to Korean barbecue you brat,” Jinyoung says.

Well, that makes the suffering a little bit bearable, Yugyeom thinks.

Every semester since Yugyeom joined University, he would be pulled into a soccer match against a neighbouring Uni, courtesy of the one and only Im Jaebum. Yugyeom doesn’t mind, except he’s in a team with guys with less than average soccer skills, and every time, they end up losing embarrassingly. Yugyeom doesn’t wanna be labelled as a loser, he has a reputation to maintain. He needs to impress Suzy, the one dream girl he’s been trying to date for ages, but if she sees him like this ...

Yugyeom is rudely brought out of his dreamworld by Jinyoung kicking at his feet.

“Why is the maknae lying on the ground,” Jinyoung says, crossing his arms. “You’re supposed to be bringing us water.”

“Is the maknae not allowed to lie down also.” Yugyeom sits up and gives a side eye to Jinyoung. Jinyoung just gives him that little evil smile of his which, Yugyyeom realises, means there's more teasing to come.

“I got it Jinyoung hyung,” someone says from behind him, and Yugyeom tilts his head back to thank the angel who spared him the physical effort of getting his butt off the ground. A brilliant set of teeth smile at him, and Youngjae’s upside down face comes into view, proudly carrying way too many bottles of water than he could possibly manage.

“Thanks hyung,” Yugyeom says. He stretches his arms upward to take some of the bottles away from Youngjae before he inevitably drops them on Yugyeom. 

Youngjae taps him on the head with one of the bottles. “Anything for the MVP.”

Yugyeom has never been very close with Youngjae, so he doesn’t know how to react when Youngjae is affectionate with him. But he doesn’t have to think much because Bambam is giving them a look of utter shock and disgust.

“Ha, that giant baby just flops around like a chicken,” Bambam says, rolling his eyes. “If Yugyeom is the MVP then I’m, like, Messi.” 

“Well you guys did your best,” Youngjae says, passing the water bottles around. “It's just that the other team is too good.”

“Or maybe it's because we’re too bad,” says Jackson. “I’m pretty sure Youngjae was the only one cheering for us. Man they even steal our people’s support, right on our turf!” Jackson shakes his head a little too dramatically, and Yugyeom laughs at his antics. “The only consolation is that we might not be _that_ bad considering these guys agree to play with us even now.”

“Or _maybe_ we are that bad and _maybe_ someone is trying very hard to get into Jaebum hyung’s pants,” Jinyoung says, raising his eyebrows towards the center of the field. 

As if right on cue, Yugyeom can see the “captain” from the other team laughing loudly at some joke Jaebum made, which Yugyeom can confirm with hundred percent certainty was super lame.

“Ewww,” both Jackson and Bambom revolt in unison. 

“They should like, get a room or something,” Bambam says. 

“You guys are too much, they’re just being nice to each other,” Mark says, speaking for the first time since the match got over, his arms still covering his eyes. 

“I remember Jaebum mentioning that he’s known Namjoon since like grade school," Jackson adds.

“Hyung, you’re not even looking,” Bambam says. “I can literally feel that guy thirsting for Jaebum hyung.”

“Can say the same for Jaebum hyung,” Jinyoung says. “Hundred bucks says someone’s getting laid tonight.”

Suddenly Mark jumps up from where he is lying down. No one would have noticed except Jackson’s loud exclaim from being distubed from his resting place caused everyone to look at him. 

They all wait for Mark to say something but he just stands there, and Yugyeom thinks about how people sometimes go onto stage to give a speech but forget their lines and everyone gets embarrassed and Yugyeom feels something akin to that right now.

Mark stands still for about fifteen seconds(Yugyeom counted) when he finally speaks. 

“Let's get something to eat, I'm hungry,” Mark says monotonously, power walking away without looking back.

There’s this awkward silence and they all are looking at each other, unsure of what just happened. 

“Oh well,” Jackson says. He gets up on his feet, dusting away at his shorts. “ Now that he mentioned, I'm hungry as - Hey Mark, wait up,” Jackson screams, running after his friend.

“Looks like something is burning,” Jinyoung smirks, as he follows suit.

“Doesn’t seem to be the only thing that's on fire.” Bambam leans towards Yugyeom and whispers. “Youngjae hyung is practically melting away in sadness.”

“What do you mean?” Yugyeom turns around to see where Youngjae is standing and staring into open space towards Jaebum. A bulb lights up in Yugyeom’s head.

“Does he?” Yugyeom whispers to Bambam, pointing his finger at Youngjae. Bambam nods his head. “Really? Jaebum hyung? Wow I’d have never known.”

“Well you’re kinda dense when it comes to other people, my friend,” Bambam says, putting his arms around Yugyeom. “Just one of your many charms. That’s why you need me, to help you traverse the oh so dramatic love lives of our peers. Speaking of, hey Youngjae hyung,” Bambam waves at Youngjae. “Are you planning to stand there for eternity or you wanna join us for dinner?”

Youngjae snaps out of whatever trance Jaebum induced him in, and Yugyeom can’t help but pity him a little.

“Huh what - ” Youngjae looks around, apparently unaware that forty percent of the group had left. “Oh yeah food yes, yes that is a good idea. Lets go!”

Bambam rolls his eyes as he wraps his other free arm around Youngjae. As they walk arm in arm across the field, Yugyeom silently prays that he never looks as desperate for Suzy as Youngjae does for Jaebum, or he’ll never hear the end of Jinyoung’s teasing.

  


~~~

  


Stepping into fresh air after a rigorous hour of dance practice is the best feeling in the world, Yugyeom decides as the wind cools the sweat trickling down his face.

“That was good practice Yugyeom,” Momo says, patting Yugyeom on the back. “If you perform the same way you did today during the festival, Suzy will fall head over heels for you.”

Yugyeom lightly pushes at Momo’s arms. “Stop it noona~” Yugyeom says, trying to be as cute as possible. 

Momo had taken it upon herself to give Yugyeom advice on how to get Suzy to like him, and also about girls in general (because according to Yugyeom’s friends and family, he was good looking enough that any girl should fall for him, which didn’t seem to work in reality, Yugyeom had sadly realised). But Momo’s advice seems to be working because now at least Suzy refers to him as Jaebum’s dongsaeng, which Yugyeom thinks is better than not knowing he existed at all.

“Aww man you know I can’t tease you anymore if you do aegyo.” Momo pouts.

“Hey guys,” Jaebum says, typing furiously on his phone. His forehead is creased onto itself and Yugyeom wants to tell Jaebum that he reminds him of his grandpa, but he also doesn’t want to get hit. 

“I won’t be able to make it next session,” Jaebum says, his eyes still glued to his phone. “My professor wants to talk about my thesis, and it could take hours.”

Yugyeom groans. It's tough having a member of the squad be in grad school. Jinyoung had to quit because of school, and he was still an undergrad. Yugyeom couldn't even imagine the strain Jaebum has to go through handling school, music club, their dance group and his part time job.

“Don't worry, we can manage!” Momo says.

Jaebum smiles. “Thanks guys. I don't know what I’d have done without you, especially you Yugyeom.” Jaebum places a hand on Yugyeom’s shoulder. “You nicely filled up Jinyoung’s spot in such a short time.”

Yugyeom tries to stop himself from blushing. He could never tell Jaebum just how much the compliments mean to him, so he settles to be his annoying self instead. 

“That's what happens when you take in the best of the best,” Yugyeom says, smirking in a way he knows makes him look like an asshole.

Momo huffs while Jaebum just pinches his cheek. “Keep up the same confidence for the festival, and we’ll surely win.”

Yugyeom nods and bids them both goodbye, opting to get some bubble tea. He thinks about how good his week has been. Classes are going well, he’s excelling in dance more than ever, and he has good friends and enough time to hang around with them. And to make things even better, he now has bubble tea. Just the perfect way to end the weekend.

As he’s walking back towards his dorm, his phone vibrates, and Yugyeom is so busy not spilling his tea that he answers the call without seeing the caller ID. 

“Yo wassup,” Yugyeom says in his best imitation of Jackson, sure that it's Bambam calling to get more ramyeon.

“Yugyeom, glad to see you’re still alive!”

 _Crap_. Yugyeom had completely forgotten to call his family for a week now. His parents weren’t the strict kind, but he hates to see them worry for him.

“Hi Dad,” Yugyeom says. “How are you?”

“Healthy as always,” his Dad replies. “You haven’t called us in a long time, everything okay?”

“Yup, I'm doing great,” Yugyeom says. He sits down on the nearest bench, and carefully places the cup on the side. “I just came out of dance practice.”

“Dancing is a great hobby, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I am. Even my classes are going great, I just learned about -”

There's some disturbance in the background, and he can hear his mom’s voice from the other end.

“-haven’t talked to him in a - how can he - to his own mother - put him on speaker.” Yugyeom groans as the muffled voice of his mother fills his ears. 

“Hello? Yugyeom? Is that you? How are you? Why didn't you call?” His mom says in the most reproachful way she can. “Your mother misses you, have you no consideration for her?”

“Moooom you know I love you~” Yugyeom says, trying to act as cute as possible. “It's just that I have been quite busy with business school and -”

“Yugyeom, you know you don't have to overwork yourself right? Just enjoy your time in University, everything’s already been taken care of.”

“I know, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” Yugyeom had talked himself in and out of this for a whole month, eventually leaving upto whatever his mood decides in the end. “Everyone in my year are trying for an internship, and I thought it would be a great idea if maybe I can apply for one at Dad’s company? To get exposure before I actually start working there?” He adds hurriedly at the end.

The logical part of his brain already knows what the answer is going to be, but a small part of him still hopes. His week was going good, maybe this call wasn’t meant to be deterrent to that after all?

“Our son has become so responsible, just look at him,” his dad says. “I’m afraid your little boy has turned into a man.”

His mom laughs, and a spark of joy lights inside Yugyeom. “So .. is that a yes?”

“You’ve already proven yourself, what more do you have to get from an internship?” 

_Experience?_ Yugyeom thinks bitterly but doesn’t say anything.

“See, internship is for .. you know ..” his dad continues awkwardly. “Regular people, and it can get very competitive, you won't be able to handle that.” Something stings in Yugyeom’s heart, but he remains quiet. “Besides, you already have everything settled in place, why bother fighting for something you already have?”

Yugyeom sighs. He doesn’t even know why he bothers. All his life his parents have put a shield between him and the rest of the world. Yugyeom had indulged in all the pampering and love when he was younger, but now he felt as if he had nothing to offer. They gave him everything he could ever want, and he loves them for that, but they never gave him a chance to prove himself beyond what little they thought of him.

“I understand,” Yugyeom says. He doesn’t bother saying anything else. Arguing with his parents is like talking to a wall, and Yugyeom doesn’t have any strength for that. “I have to go now. Love you guys.”

Yugyeom cuts the call without hearing his parents' endless train of “goodbyes” and “call us!”. Yugyeom tries not to think about how he’s the only person in his group of friends and classmates with literally nothing to do and nothing to show for. He walks to the nearest trash can and throws his half empty cup of bubble tea. He didn’t deserve it anyway.

  


~~~

  


“You’re a shitty drinker, you know that right?”

Yugyeom rolls over from where he’s lying on the couch. The loud thumping of the bass is too much for his eyes, and Jinyoung’s insistent nagging doesn’t help either.

“Hyung, go find someone else to bully.” Yugyeom says, covering his eyes with his palms to block the music.

Yugyeom waits for the teasing to come, but instead a warm hand pushes the hair back from his forehead, and Yugyeom wants to melt into the touch. But it disappears as soon as it comes and Yugyeom is left alone to deal with his headache.

In retrospect, Yugyeom knows he shouldn’t drink so much, especially when there's a 9am class awaiting for him the next day. They were hanging at Mark’s and Jackson’s apartment when suddenly Jackson thought it would be a brilliant idea to not only get smashed, but invite half the Uni as well. And Yugyeom, well, he can’t resist when half the crowd is cheering him to chug beer from the tap. Five times. In a row. 

It also helps him forget just how useless he feels without his parent’s support and money.

Someone taps his head, and Yugyeom resists the urge to throw up.

“Yugyeom? Are you okay?” Yugyeom turns his body towards Bambam’s voice, hoping that would suffice for him not opening his eyes.

“Ah our beer pong hero is alive,” Bambam says. There’s some shuffling, and when Bambam speaks, it's much closer to Yugyeom’s ears than before. “You won’t believe what happened. So I got to hang out with Sana, and she invited me over to her place to watch a movie. Not alone unfortunately, a couple of her friends are joining, but hey every victory counts, doesn't it?” 

Yugyeom nods his head in agreement and gives a thumbs up. 

“So what I need you to tell me is: how much out-of-your-mind wasted are you?”

Yugyeom sighs. He wants to tell Bambam to not leave him, and to carry him back to the dorm and pamper him with soup the next morning, because he’s been having a shitty time and his parents are being shitty and he has a goddamn early morning class the next day _but_ Yugyeom also knows how much Bambam likes Sana, how long he’s liked Sana for and well, Yugyeom doesn’t want to be a bad friend to Bambam.

Sometimes, Yugyeom thinks, it's better not to know so much about others.

“I’m sotally tober,” Yugyeom says, sticking out his tongue. He finally opens his eyes to see Bambam kneeling near the couch, shaking his head.

“I’ll be fine," Yugyeom says. "Seriously. I’m just a little drunk, but I can definitely find my way back to the dorm.”

“And by dorm you don’t mean the girl’s dorm right?”

“Ugh that was just once, and it was Jackson hyung’s fault. He dropped me off at the wrong place!”

Bambam chuckles. “I believe you. Also,” Bambam says, wriggling his eyes suggestively. “You should try hooking up with other people, y’know. Suzy isn’t the only fish in the sea.”

“But Suzy is the only fish for me,” Yugyeom says, placing his hands on his heart.

“You should experience how it is with other fish before you finally catch the big one,” Bambam says, getting up.

“Are you seriously telling me to makeout with fishes? Bam, I didn’t know you were into that.”

Bambam punches Yugyeom lightly in the shoulder before waving off goodbye. Yugyeom wants to shout “use protection!” but he really can’t bother to. He watches till Bambam disappears into a sea of people and wonders if Suzy would ever invite him for movies.

His favourite song starts playing, and Yugyeom decides what the hell, one last dance won’t kill him. He nearly jumps out the couch and realises he shouldn’t have moved too fast because his head is completely dizzy and too much blood rushes to his brain and he is a split second away from crashing head first into the ground.

Except a pair of arms catch him, and he looks up to see Youngjae holding on to him. 

“Hey there champ, slow down,” Youngjae says, pushing Yugyeom's back to make him stand.

“I’m fine,” Yugyeom says for the hundredth time today. “I just need to-”

“-go back to your dorm, without landing yourself in hospital,” Youngjae says, his hands still on Yugyeom’s shoulders. 

“That was once, and it wasn’t my fault someone had to place a giant rock on my way to make me trip!”

“Sure,” Youngjae says, wrapping one of his arms around Yugyeom’s waist, and placing Yugyeom’s arm over his shoulder. Youngjae drags him forward and Yugyeom feels like his personal space is being violated.

“You don’t have to take me home, I can manage on my own,” Yugyeom says. He doesn’t add the _we aren’t even that close_ that his mind thinks of.

“Sorry, Jinyoung hyung’s orders.” 

Well that makes sense. Even though they hung out with the same set of people, Yugyeom was never that close to Youngjae. Not that he’s complaining, Youngjae seemed content hanging off Jaebum’s side and Yugyeom was forever stuck to Bambam like glue. But Yugyeom would still consider the rest of them close friends, whereas for Youngjae …

“I can’t believe Jinyoung hyung has got you wrapped around his fingers as well,” Yugyeom says. Yugyeom doesn’t know how they made their way through the crowd and out the door, but Youngjae somehow managed to get them both standing on the street.

“Oh that,” Youngjae says, and Yugyeom can’t tell if the flush on his cheek was alcohol or if he was actually blushing. “Well, Jinyoung hyung actually asked Jaebom hyung first, but it seemed like he was enjoying himself so much and .. I didn't want him to .. and well, my apartments on the way so I offered instead.”

The only response Yugyeom could think of was “you’re so whipped for Jaebum” but he realised he shouldn’t tease someone who was hauling his long ass body to his room despite them not being the best of friends, so Yugyeom instead opts to shut his mouth.

Also he thinks if he speaks too much he might puke.

They walk in silence and Yugyeom tries not to lean his entire weight on Youngjae’s side, but it feels so easy to just slope onto Youngjae’s shoulder and let him take the weight.

“Jinyoung hyung really cares about you,” Youngjae says, after a long stretch of silence.

“Ha,” Yugyeom says. “He thrives on teasing me to death everyday.”

“Well, you are kind of bratty with him,” Youngjae says. “And if I’m being honest, it's fun to watch him tease you.”

“You take my suffering as entertainment? I knew there was evil lurking behind that innocent face.”

Youngjae laughs, loud and wide, and Yugyeom can’t help but smile. His head feels dizzy, but somehow making Youngjae laugh seems to sober him up, just a bit.

Or maybe he’s just getting more drunk.

“It's nice, nevertheless, having someone look out for you like that.” Yugyeom watches Youngjae from the corner of his eyes, and he realises that Youngjae is actually quite .. _pretty_. 

“And then,” Youngaje continues, completely unaware of the debate that's going on in Yugyeom’s mind about calling a dude bro pretty. “You have Bambam also. I sometimes get jealous seeing how close you two are.”

“You have Jaebum hyung,” Yugyeom says, trying not to slur his words.

“It’s not the same.” Youngjae turns his head to look at Yugyeom, and Yugyeom can almost feel Youngjae’s breath on his face when he speaks.

When did he get so close? 

“It's not like you have been crushing on Bambam since you laid eyes on him. Well, unless you do and we don’t know .. ?”

Yugyeom raises his eyebrows. Youngjae is trying to hold it in, but he gives up and erupts into laughter.

“I didn't expect you to be the self deprecating type of comedian,” Yugyeom says. He can’t help but smile at Youngjae giggling in glee.

“There’s a lot you don't know about me Kim Yugyeom” Youngjae says. Yugyeom feels like this is going into places he doesn't want to, but then Youngjae speaks. “For example, I own three pairs of pikachu boxers.”

Yugyeom laughs against Youngjae’e shoulder. “Hyung, you’re so weird.”

They fall back into silence again. It feels nice to have Youngjae by his side. He looks so small but he’s almost the same height as Yugyeom and probably a hell lot stronger than him. Youngjae’s lips are pursued in a thin line and Yugyeom thinks Youngjae looks like some animal, but he can't quite place it. So he starts listing off the animals he knows alphabetically, trying to match the features ...

Yugyeom is a hundred percent definite that he’s getting a hangover tomorrow.

“Where did you and Jaebum hyung meet?” Yugyeom blurts out. He doesn’t know where that came from, but Youngjae doesn’t seem fazed.

“At University.”

“Did you ever try to ask him out?”

“Never.”

“Why do you like Jaebum hyung so much?”

“Just because.” Youngjae shrugs, and the movement makes Yugyeom’s face slip off Youngjae’s shoulder

Yugyeom pouts as he stands up straight. “It must be a blast to play truth or dare with you.”

Youngjae turns to look at him, giving him a small smile. “Sorry,” Youngjae says. “Why the sudden interest?”

“Because I’m bored,” Yugyeom says. “How come you’re not drunk and spilling out secrets?”

Youngjae laughs, and the sound rings like bells in Yugyeom’s ears. “Who says I’m not drunk?”

“Hyung you are literally the epitome of sober,” Yugyeom’s mouth seems to be running off on its own, and Yugyeom thinks he should stop before he says something more stupid, like offering to hang out. “I realised I actually don’t know a lot about you. We should hang out sometimes.” 

Crap.

Youngjae’s eyes light up, and Yugyeom wonders how come he’s never noticed such a dazzling smile before. 

“That would be cool. I was going to a music festival with Jackson and Jaebum hyung on Saturday, wanna come along?”

Yugyeom didn’t expect Youngjae to actually take up on the offer. But then, Yugyeom likes music. And there’s always street performance at these festivals. It’s always nice to watch other dancers.

“Sure I would love to,” Yugyeom says.

“Well I guess this is you.”

They are standing in front of the entrance to his dorms. Yugyeom didn't even realise how quickly time had passed talking to Youngjae.

“I’ll text you the details.” Youngjae turns around and they are standing face to face. Yugyeom’s arms suddenly miss the warmth of having Youngjae by his side.

“Thanks for dropping me off, and like not leaving me stranded in the street.”

Youngjae laughs. “I did consider that for a while, when you so graciously put half your weight on my poor shoulders. But then you’re too cute for me to ditch you like that.”

There’s something bubbling in his chest and Yugyeom prays to all the gods that he doesn’t puke all over Youngjae, but he does something worse instead.

“You’re very pretty, hyung.”

Yugyeom knows he is drunk out of his mind when he doesn’t even feel embarrassed anymore.

Youngjae eyes widen but he laughs, his cheeks covered in red. “I would have preferred dashing, but I think I can take pretty. Thanks.”

“I think I should go now,” Youngjae says, when Yugyeom doesn’t say anything. Yugyeom nods his head, and Youngjae leans forward to give him a hug.

They break the hug, but Yugyeom’s fingers tightly hold onto Youngjae’s sleeves. Youngjae is looking at him, his eyes a little uncertain but then they turn into tiny crescents. Youngjae is about to say something but Yugyeom can only focus on Youngjae’s lips. He can’t help leaning into it, and before he knows it, he’s kissing Youngjae..

Yugyeom instantly realises what he did and jumps back to see a surprised Youngjae staring at him. Youngjae’s fingers are over his lips, his eyes wide and in shock. Yugyeom's mouth is ready with a train of excuses of how drunk and sorry he is. But before he can say another word, Youngjae’s hand pulls at the collar of his jacket.

“You shouldn't have done that,“ Youngjae whispers against Yugyeom’s lips as he drags him down for another kiss.

 _So this is really happening_ , Yugyeom thinks before he moves his lips against Youngjae. The adrenaline makes him dizzy but he holds onto Youngjae’s arms. Youngjae is kissing him like he’ll drown if Yugyeom doesn’t kiss him back, so Yugyeom does.

“Get a room you morons!”

They jump apart as some random drunk guy yells at them from across the street. Youngjae pulls back his arms like Yugyeom just scalded his skin. All Yugyeom can do is stare at Youngjae’s swollen lips, wishing he could run his fingers across them.

“Umm,” Youngjae says, his eyes looking at everything but Yugyeom. “I think I should really go now. I’ll -I’ll see you around.”

Before Yugyeom can say anything, Youngjae turns his back and walks away. Yugyeom pouts. If only that guy didn’t interrupt them … but he can’t help himself from smiling, the ghost of Youngjae’s lips still in his mind. As Yugyeom makes his way to his room, he wonders why he had never kissed Youngjae before …

When Yugyeom wakes up the next day with a pounding headache and memories of the kiss making his head shrivel with cringe , he swears to never touch alcohol in his life ever again.

  


~~~

  


Yugyeom sprints out of the class the moment it gets over, making his way to the cafe where Jackson worked at. He had been jittery and well, a little bit freaked out ever since _that_ incident. He tried to not linger on it too much, but anytime he’d been going about his day, flashes of Youngjae’s smile and that goddamn kiss would pop up and Yugyeom would physically shudder in embarrassment. Why, out of all the people in the world, did Yugyeom have to make a move on Youngjae, is something sober Yugyeom would always reprimand drunk Yugyeom for.

Needless to say, he had been avoiding Youngjae ever since.

Not that it was an impossible task. Yugyeom and Youngjae didn’t seem to have much in common apart from their friends, so it wasn’t like they were running into each other on a regular basis. But he had to figure out something before they inevitably meet. And that is how he found himself telling Bambam and Jackson about it.

Of course, his friends were of no use at all.

“You what!” Jackson says, no screeches, as Bambam erupts in fits of laughter.

Yugyeom rubs his hands over his eyes. “Please don't make me repeat it.”

“Did you guys ...” Jackson wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“No no absolutely not, nothing more happened. We both left immediately after that .. that thing.”

“Was there a chance that something more could have happened?” Bambam chokes out in between giggles. His eyes are brimming with tears, and Yugyeom wants to hide under the table.

“Well,” Yugyeom doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted. “Can you guys help me figure out what to do now.”

“What is there to do,” Jackson says. He leans over and crosses his arms on the table. “It was just a kiss, nothing more, and you were drunk out of your mind. Could have happened to anyone.”

“I have to agree with hyung here, it was an accident.” Bambam quips, sipping on his coffee.

“But then, we are friends. Won’t that make things weird between us?”

Bambam rolls his eyes. “It's not like you guys were the best of buddies. And even if you were, it wouldn’t matter because both of you are hopelessly head over heels for other people.”

Yugyeom wants to counteract that he isn't as desperate as Youngjae is, but he leaves that for another time. “I guess you’re right ...”

“Of course we are,” Jackson huffs. “By the way, how was the kiss.”

Yugyeom chokes on his cappuccino. As Bambam pats his back, Yugyeom realises he didn’t really think about it that much. It had felt nice, and Yugyeom had to admit, Youngjae was a good kisser.

But there was no way in hell he would admit it to his friends.

“It was okay I guess,” Yugyeom says. “I was damn wasted, can’t remember much.”

Jackson and Bambam groan in unison.

“You’re an awful liar,” Jackson says. “But I have work to get back to so, Bambam he’s all yours.”

“Don't worry I wont harass you into giving me details,” Bambam whispers, as Jackson rushes to take orders from the next table. “But I still think you’re overreacting. You really don't need to waste your energy into avoiding Youngjae, when you could instead help me with this prank I’m planning for Jinyoung hyung.”

As Bambam lists down exactly what he had in store for Jinyoung, Yugyeom wonders what he would do without Bambam in his life.

  


~~~

  


If Yugyeom had to define one single sole purpose for his existence, he would pick dancing. Yugyeom danced ever since he could remember. It was, after all, his first love. Almost every happy memory of Yugyeom involved dancing - be at competitions, alone in a studio or just fooling around with friends. It was the only thing that was entirely _his_ and no one could have control over it.

So when Jaebum calls for an impromptu dance practice, Yugyeom doesn’t complain.

Unlike some people.

“I can barely move my legs,” Momo says, stretching out her legs from where she’s sitting at the foot of the staircase. The studio is locked, and only Jaebum has the keys, but Yugyeom doesn’t mind waiting.

“I told you to cool down last time, but someone was too busy trying to get laid,” Yugyeom says. 

Momo sticks out her tongue. “At least I'm getting some action, unlike someone I know.”

Yugyeom has half a mind of telling Momo just how much action he got last week, but decides against it. Momo never prys for more than what she knows but Yugyeom feels like it's just too personal to share it with everyone in his life.

“Yugyeom?” 

On hearing that familiar voice Yugyeom's brain instantly replays the images from that night. He tries his best not to cringe as he turns on his heels to face the one person he’s been trying to avoid.

“What are you doing here?” Yugyeom blurts out. He smiles as an afterthought in lieu of a greeting.

“Jaebum hyung’s running a little late," Youngjae says. "So he asked me to drop off the keys to you. He says you’re always the first one to be there, and he didn’t want you to wait.” 

Yugyeom feels warmth bubble in his heart for Jaebum as Youngjae fishes out the keys from his ridiculously oversized sweatshirt and hands it over to Yugyeom. Jaebum always manages to keep others' needs before his, even when he's crawling in deadlines and assignments.

“Thanks hyung,” Yugyeom says. He thinks maybe this might be the universe’s plan to make him finally address the elephant in the room. “Actually I-”

Youngjae cuts him off in between. “Can we talk? In private?” he says, nodding his head towards where Momo is sitting.

“Sure. Hey Noona, you can go inside and warm up, I’ll catch up to you in a bit.” Yugyeom throws the keys towards Momo before following Youngjae to a corner.

“I’ve been noticing lately that you’ve been avoiding me,” Youngjae says.

Yugyeom is caught off guard. He didn’t expect Youngjae to be so direct. It must have shown on his face because Youngjae is smiling at him sheepishly. 

“Sorry to come at you so suddenly, but I’ve figured let's get over with it as quickly as possible. Y'know, like pulling the bandage.”

“I really didn’t mean to avoid you,” Yugyeom says. “And I know I’m overreacting but honestly it's a little awkward, and I swear I really didn’t plan on kissing you.”

“Neither did I. I-I don't know what came over me the second time,” Youngjae says, scratching the back of his head.

Yugyeom shrugs. “Not like I tried to stop you or anything.”

“Anyway it was an honest drunk mistake, could have happened to anyone. So agree to put it behind us and be friends?” Youngjae holds out his hands.

Yugyeom shakes Youngjae's hand, and Yugyeom can’t believe how unbelievably soft Youngjae’s hands are. “Agreed.”

“So you still want to come for the festival tomorrow?”

Yugyeom had planned to spend some time for himself(aka watching dramas in his pj’s all day), but Yugyeom figures what the hell and nods his head in response.

Youngjae smiles bright and waves goodbye. Just as Yugyeom is about to walk up the stairs, a voice calls from behind. “Don’t mention it to Jaebum hyung okay!”

Yugyeom gives a thumbs up to Youngjae who waves back at him. As Yugyeom walks into the dance studio now already filled with most of the squad, Yugyeom thinks maybe everything will work out fine.

  


~~~

  


On any other day, Yugyeom hates people stepping up all over his personal space. But clubs are the only exceptions he’s ready to make.

Yugyeom had thought that his week had gone bad, with the never ending assignments piling one after the other. But it seems everyone was having an off week, so an impromptu clubbing scene was decided by Jackson, which was honestly one of the best decisions Jackson had ever made.

“That girl in red is totally working up herself to ask Mark hyung to dance,” Bambam proclaims as Yugyeom flops down beside him. 

“Ohhh someone’s getting laid tonight,” Jackson chimes in.

Mark pushes at Jackson’s shoulders. “Imma lay a hand on you if you don’t shut up.”

“She’s really pretty though, at least give it a shot,” Jaebum says.

“She’s not my type.” Mark declares.

“Yeah, Mark hyung is more into dancers,” Jinyoung says, with a sly smile.

Mark glares at Jinyoung while Yugyeom and Jackson burst into laughter. Jinyoung just shrugs his shoulders. Jaebum looks utterly confused but smiles nevertheless and Youngjae... Well Youngjae just seems to be lost in his own world, bopping his head along to the beat.

Things had been more or less the same between them. As promised, Yugyeom did come along to the festival. He learnt that Jackson had a very low tolerance for spicy food and that Youngjae and Jaebum were actually part of the same music club, which explained how close they were. He was glad Jackson was there because sometimes Youngjae and Jaebum would go off in their own little world, away from anyone else. Yugyeom could see how Youngjae would fall for someone giving him attention the way Jaebum did, heck even Yugyeom would fall. Seeing the stoic Im Jaebum actually smile at Youngjae so fondly was honestly kind of embarrassing to watch. 

But in spite of that, Youngjae would laugh loud and clear at Yugyeom’s jokes, even though half of them were at Jaebum’s expense, boosting Yugyeom’s already inflated ego. In Yugyeom’s books, this makes Youngjae a very favourable person.

But then life happened, and Yugyeom didn’t get a chance to hang out with any of his friends, let alone Youngjae, and the same seemed to apply to Youngjae as well. As far as Yugyeom was concerned, nothing had changed.

That is why he is caught off guard and nearly chokes on his drink when Youngjae promptly sits next to him.

“Are you gonna have that?” Youngjae doesn’t even wait for Yugyeom’s reply before taking the drink from Yugyeom’s hand and chugging it down in one go.

“I guess .. not,” Yugyeom says, eyeing Youngjae. He had never seen Youngjae without an oversized hoodie, so seeing him in just a fitting black t-shirt and jeans felt oddly .. revealing.

“Bad day?” Yugyeom asks. 

As soon as Youngjae opens his mouth, a girl in red comes to them, which Yugyeom recognises as the girl who was trying to hit on Mark.

“Umm hi,” she says, to Youngjae of all the people, and everyone opens their mouth in shock. Bambam literally gasps and Mark looks like he’s about to burst out laughing any second. 

“Do you wanna maybe dance with me?” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and Yugyeom cannot believe what he's witnessing.

Youngjae seems to be oddly at ease by the sudden turn of events. “Sorry, I don't really dance.”

Yugyeom had never wanted to punch someone so badly. 

“Oh it's okay,” she says, clearly embarrassed and walks away with her head down.

Everyone opens their mouth at the same time.

“Dude what is wrong with you!”

“Omg I didn't know Youngjae was a stud!”

“Damn Youngjae, share some tips with us ..”

“Why did you reject her? She was so pretty,” Bambam says, his eyes still wide with shock.

Youngjae shrugs. “Not my type I guess.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “While you are sitting here rejecting perfectly nice people, your _type_ is already out there dancing with a random stranger.” 

Jinyoung nods his head towards where, true to his words, Jaebum is getting quite close to some girl on the floor.

Yugyeom can’t bear this unrequited love drama he didn’t ask to be a part of. “Cmon lets go find you a date,” Yugyeom says. He grabs Youngjae’s hand and drags him on the dance floor, ignoring the protests coming from Youngjae’s mouth. He hopes Bambam and Jackson don’t think something else of this.

“Wait a minute,” Youngjae huffs. “Exactly what the hell are you doing.”

“We are going to salvage a missed opportunity,” Yugyeom says. “Who knows, maybe this is your chance at true love.”

Yugyeom is the last person on this earth to be giving anyone love advice, but he knows just how well distraction works in the face of heartbreak.

Youngjae narrows his eyes. They’re still holding hands, and Yugyeom knows if he lets go, Youngjae will run back and hide. So he holds on even tighter.

“Fine,” Youngjae sighs. “But I’ll just talk to her, and if I don't like her, I’m out. Agreed?”

Yugyeom nods his head and immediately scans for that pretty face in red dress. It didn’t seem like it would be an easy task. The dim lightning and the crowd of people sticking together made it difficult to identify faces.

“I can see a red dress! … but no, the hair’s too short .. that one looks familiar but .. do girls change their outfits when they go clubbing?” Yugyeom turns around to ask Youngjae, but Youngjae isn't even looking at him. He's eyeing the exit, and seems more interested in mouthing the words to the songs than to help Yugyeom.

“Hyung at least give me a hand,” Yugyeom says.

Youngjae smiles sheepishly and lifts up their interlocked hands. “You’ve already got hold of one.”

Yugyeom sticks out his tongue at Youngjae. Yugyeom drags them both through the mess of sweaty bodies, squinting his eyes at every stranger who even remotely matches the description in his head. After ten rounds of the floor and three song changes, Yugyeom declares it a losing fight.

“I think she might have left,” Yugyeom says. Youngjae shakes his head, and Yugyeom leans in closer to Youngjae’s ears. “I give up. I think she might have already left.”

“I know,” Youngjae screams back in Yugyeom’s ears, and damn Youngjae’s voice can be loud. “I saw her leave when you were dragging me around like a ragdoll.”

Yugyeom’s jaws drop open. He doesn’t know whether to be impressed or pissed. 

“You’re such a clever, mean person,” Yugyeom says, narrowing his eyes.

Youngjae erupts in laughter, clapping his hands in glee. Its the first time they let go of each other’s hands, and Yugyeom’s sweaty palms relieve in the cool air. 

“Sorry, it was too funny watching you go on a man hunt,” Youngjae says.

Yugyeom can’t help the pout that follows. “You should really start hanging around with Jinyoung hyung. You might be his long lost brother.”

Youngjae finally calms down with his laughter fit. “I’m sorry, that was too mean wasn’t it? I’ll make it upto you.” Youngjae is still smiling and that makes Yugyeom pout even more. “Let's dance. You like dancing right?” 

“I thought you didn't dance,” Yugyeom says, crossing his arms.

“I’ll be the dancing king, just for tonight.” Youngjae winks at Yugyeom as he takes Yugyeom’s arm and drags him to the centre of the dance floor. Yugyeom wants to go sulk in a corner, but he’s too easy, and dancing always cheers him up.

“It's just this one time, you can’t always make it up to me by taking me to dance.” Yugyeom says into Youngjae’s ears. The music is getting louder, and Yugyeom can barely hear his own voice.

“We’ll see,” Youngjae winks at him again, and Yugyeom can’t help but smile back at Youngjae.

Yugyeom’s body moves on its own to the beat, and Youngjae looks impressed by the way Yugyeom moves. He can already feel all the stress and sulkiness melt away. It's easy for him to get lost in the music and forget everything else.

Yugyeom realises why Youngjae doesn’t dance; he’s stiff and awkward, and probably can’t dance to save his life. But Youngjae doesn’t seem to care, jumping along and putting his arms in the air when the DJ calls for it. Yugyeom laughs, because it's kind of hard not to when Youngjae is breathlessly laughing along to his strange dance moves. He can understand why that girl, or anyone for that matter would go for Youngjae. His smile could make anyone feel at ease.

Youngjae is moving his mouth but Yugyeom can’t make a word of what he is saying. He leans in closer and points at his ears.

“I said,” Youngjae says, cupping Yugyeom’s ears. “You’re a really great dancer.”

“You aren’t so bad yourself,” Yugyeom shouts back in Youngjae’s ears. “You gotta teach me your moves.”

Youngjae laughs and Yugyeom leans in again to say something at the same time as Youngjae. They are now nose to nose, and Yugyeom can see every bead of sweat on Youngjae's forehead.

“You have a mole under your eye,” Yugyeom says. 

The bass and humidity is making his mind ... fuzzy. Youngjae still has the ghost of a smile on his face but his eyes are dark and wide. Yugyeom slowly raises his hands and traces his fingers along the curve of Youngjae’s lower lash, and Youngjae closes his eyes to the touch. He can feel his skin burn where it touches Youngjae's cheek.

His mind knows it's a dangerous territory, but the pounding of his heart is too much to think about anything else. 

Youngjae opens his eyes and Yugyeom knows he is done for.

He doesn’t know who kissed whom first, but all he knows is the feeling of Youngjae’s lips moving against his own. Youngjae throws his arms around Yugyeom’s neck, pulling them closer. Youngjae sucks at Yugyeom’s lower lip and Yugyeom can’t help the moan that escapes his mouth. Their bodies are close but Yugyeom wants Youngjae even more close. There’s too much heat, too much tongue and Yugyeom thinks he’ll go dizzy if he doesn’t stop. 

Yugyeom breaks the kiss and gasps for breath. Youngjae is still holding onto his neck.

“Do you .. do you want to take this somewhere else?” Youngjae asks. Yugyeom nods his head. Youngjae takes his hands as they make their way over to the bathroom stalls.

Yugyeom knows he should stop now, anything more and there’s a point of no return. They’re not drunk anymore. It's no longer an accident.

But when Youngjae looks at him with those hooded eyes and he can still feel Youngjae's lips on his skin, he knows there’s no going back.

Besides, Youngjae looks hot as hell in all black.

“Are you sure?” Youngjae asks, his voice hoarse and that makes Yugyeom more turned on. 

Yugyeom nods his head. As Yugyeom goes in for another kiss and Youngjae slowly traces his hand down Yugyeom’s body, all Yugyeom can think about is how much he wants Youngjae at the moment.

  


~~~

  


“So... that happened,” Yugyeom says.

They're outside the club, at some dim alleyway. They’re standing opposite each other, the open brick wall pinching at Yugyeom’s skin. Youngjae is sitting down, his legs folded like he wishes he could hide inside that.

Or probably its to hide his crotch area.

Yugyeom closes his eyes. He still can’t believe that just sometime back, Youngjae had gotten him off with just his hands. It was probably one of the hottest nights he’d ever had. But Youngjae had just walked off after they were done, and it left a strange aura of awkwardness around them. He had followed Youngjae to this alleyway, and they had been there in silence for the last fifteen minutes.

Yugyeom’s pants are uncomfortably wet, and he wishes he had cleaned up after himself at least.

Youngjae doesn’t say anything. He is biting at his thumb, refusing to meet Yugyeom’s eyes. Yugyeom has had just enough awkward encounters with Youngjae that this time it doesn’t even bother him anymore.

“Are you planning on avoiding me forever, or are we gonna talk about what just happened.” 

Youngjae sighs. He is still avoiding Yugyeom's eyes. “Okay fine, lets talk.”

Yugyeom takes a deep breath to build up the courage to say what he wants to say.

“That was hot.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What.”

Youngjae snaps his head up and he's finally looking at Yugyeom. “You thought that was ..hot?” Youngjae asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Well duh,” Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “I didn't know you had such an expert tongue.”

Pink colours Youngjae’s cheeks and Yugyeom can’t help but smile. “Well what did you think?” Yugyeom says, crossing his arms.

“I think .. I also think it was very hot,” Youngjae says. “But I was afraid that I might have forced you into .. “ Youngjae is picking at his jeans, avoiding Yugyeom’s gaze.

“Hyung, sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m pretty sure I threw myself at you.” Yugyeom isn't actually sure, but that doesn’t matter now. “And besides, you asked me, remember? I wanted it as much as you did. Probably even more,” he mutters the last part under his breath.

A smile slowly forms on Youngjae’s face and Yugyeom heaves a sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear that,” Youngjae says. “And you aren't so bad yourself either,” he adds as an afterthought.

They stay in silence, the bass of the club their only companion. Yugyeom is still thinking about their make out session when Youngjae speaks.

“Was this also an accident?”

Yugyeom immediately replies. “No, I wasn’t drunk like last time. What about you?”

Youngjae nods his head. “Me too.”

“So what does this mean? Is this a one time thing or … '' Yugyeom had never considered he’d be into Youngjae, but now that he thinks about it, Youngjae seems like a fun guy. He gets along with Yugyeom’s friends and he's a really, really good kisser. Yugyeom wouldn’t mind giving it a shot. It's not like he had a chance with Suzy anyway.

“I was thinking..” Youngjae gets up, and leans against the wall, stuffing his hands in his jeans pocket. “We could do this again?”

Yugyeom nods his head, waiting for Youngjae to finish his thoughts. 

Youngjae takes a deep breath and rattles off like he’ll die if he doesn’t let it out in one go. 

“Neither of us are seeing anyone, and it's a nice way to blow off steam without getting into anything serious. I mean, we can see other people, and this can be a secret between us. And we can break it off whenever we want, without anyone’s feelings getting hurt. I know you can always find people to hook up with but it's easier to trust a friend than a stranger. Because obviously we are both under stress and _this_ kinda helps take our mind off things. Don't you think?”

This is _not_ what Yugyeom was expecting to hear. He wants to say a clear cut _No_ , but when he thinks about it, Youngjae does make sense. Both the times they kissed, Yugyeom had been having a shitty time. And since it looked like this was bound to happen again sometime, why not make it a thing instead of letting it turn awkward?

Also the fact that Youngjae looks hot as hell helps Yugyeom make his decision.

“Basically you want us to be friends with benefits,” Yugyeom says.

Youngjae nervously laughs. “Well that's a more blunt way to say it I suppose.”

“I'm just calling it what it is,” Yugyeom says. He pushes himself off from the wall and takes two steps towards Youngjae. “And I think you have a point.”

Youngjae nods his head. “We can always break it off when you find someone.”

“What happens when you find someone?”

Yugyeom wishes he hadn’t asked that because he didn’t want Youngjae to become sad, but Youngjae merely laughs it off.

“Don't count on it happening anytime soon,” Youngjae says, shaking his head. “I guess we have a deal now. Agreed?” Youngjae takes out his hand, holding it out for Yugyeom.

Yugyeom never thought he’d ever find himself in this situation, but the thrill and adrenaline of it makes him even more excited. He immediately clasps Youngjae’s hand in his own.

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you reached till here, congrats on enduring this! Hope you enjoyed the YugJae no one asked for.
> 
> Updates will be every other week~


	2. Chapter 2

If someone had told Yuygeom that he’d be on his bed sticking his tongue down Choi Youngjae’s throat, he’d tell them to cool it with the drugs.

“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” Yugyeom says. Youngjae sucks on his neck, and Yugyeom lets out a gasp. “I- I have a class in ten minutes.”

Youngjae pulls back, his lips making a _pop_ sound which makes Yugyeom even more turned on. The fact that Youngjae is almost sitting on Yugyeom’s lap doesn’t help with Yugyeom's hard on. Youngjae had come over, and the only words exchanged between them was _is Bambam there?_ and the moment Yugyeom said _No_ , he found himself being pushed against the door and Youngjae insistently kissing his lips. 

It had been two weeks now since they had agreed to this arrangement. Needless to say, Yugyeom enjoyed it a lot. With the added rush of having to keep it a secret and stealing heated kisses whenever they could, Yugyeom had never felt so excited in his life.

“I think I might have gone a little overboard.” Youngjae says. His fingers are trailing the skin on Yugyeom’s neck. Youngjae smiles at him, and Yugyeom has to resist the urge to kiss that smile off his face.

“How bad is it?” 

Youngjae holds up his phone to Yugyeom’s face, and Yugyeom groans when he sees a bright red hickey on the camera screen. 

“Sorry, guess it's a collar up style for today,” Youngjae says. He’s still sitting on Yugyeom’s lap and Yugyeom’s arms are wrapped around his waist. He doesn’t want to let go, but the time on his phone is glaring obnoxiously at him.

“I really need to head out now ..” Yugyeom says.

Youngjae nods his head. “Yeah me too, I need to get ready for my class.” He gets up and Yugyeom immediately wants to pull him back. 

“Don’t all music majors just sing all day or play instruments.” Yugyeom says. He takes another look at the phone, trying to fix his hair. He smiles when he sees the hickey Youngjae left.

“That’s what would have been the case if I hadn't decided to specialise in Composition,” Youngjae says.

Yugyeom nods his head, impressed. “Will I be listening to your songs on the radio then, in some years?”

Youngjae rolls his eyes. “I would be more than happy if even ten people are willing to listen to my music.”

Yugyeom puts his hand on his heart. “Hyung, I promise if you ever release an album, I will search the internet for the pirated version and listen to it.”

Youngjae tilts his head back and laughs, clapping in glee. Being with Youngjae makes Yugyeom feel at ease.

“Are you busy tonight?” Yugyeom says, scratching the back of his head. “It's the weekend, and Bambam’s going on a date with Sana ...” 

Yugyeom hopes he doesn’t sound too desperate. But truth be told, even if they didn’t have this thing going on, Youngjae was actually a pretty fun guy to be with. And with Bambam’s love life sprinting on full speed, Yugyeom does get a little lonely sometimes.

Youngjae's head pops out from where he’s pulling the hoodie over himself. “It's going well with them isn't it,” Youngjae says. His hair is sticking up all over the place and Yugyeom can’t help but smile as Youngjae desperately tries to tame his hair. 

Yugyeom packs his laptop into his bag, his back turned away from Youngjae. “Yeah it is. Do you wanna hang out tonight?”

Yugyeom turns around to see Youngjae rubbing his chin like he’s in deep concentration. 

“I was gonna sit in my pj’s all day and watch dramas, but I think I can make some arrangements.”

Yugyeom laughs, smacking Youngjae’s arms with his bag as they make their way through the door. “You’re so lame hyung.”

Yugyeom is ten minutes late to his class, but he doesn’t mind when he sees a text message from Youngjae, reminding him to keep both his chin and collar up.

  


~~~

  


Yugyeom is going through his phone after seeing the explosion of a hundred message notifications. He tries not to let unchecked marks on the message he sent to his dad bother him and instead tries to focus his attention to make sense of all the spam his phone is flooded with.

Yugyeom looks up to see Bambam entering through the door with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face.

“How was your date?” Yugyeom asks, grinning at Bambam. 

“It was good,” Bambam says, removing his jacket. “ We -”

“-kissed?” Yugyeom says. Everyone on the chat has spammed with kissing emojis, and it didn’t really take a lot to figure out what happened.

“Ah that Jackson hyung, he saw me with Sana, and he literally squealed. It was so embarrassing,” Bambam says. He takes out his phone, and shakes his head. “Thankfully Sana just found the whole thing amusing.”

Yugyeom laughs. “She’s a keeper.”

“She is,” Bambam sits on the other end of Yugyeom’s bed. “Have you been missing my lovely presence.”

Yugyeom sticks out his tongue. “You wish.”

“I know I’ve been ditching you a lot, but I swear it's just for a couple more days .. okay maybe weeks.. She’s just so amazing Yugyeom..”

Bambam catches Yugyeom raising an eyebrow at him and shakes his head. “Okay sorry I'm being a bad friend.”

Yugyeom looks up from where he's scrolling through the chats. Bambam has been the most amazing friend Yugyeom could ever ask for, and Yugyeom hates seeing him worry about Yugyeom instead of enjoying himself.

“Bam’ you don't have to apologise.” 

“But still, after that thing with your parents ...”

Yugyeom sighs. His parents had called some days back, and Yugyeom had tried his luck again to convince them of letting him do an internship, but that had somehow turned into a fight, which basically meant that his parents yelled while he listened. 

And then profusely continued to ignore him since then.

“That's nothing new,” Yugyeom says. “They’ll forget about it in a couple of days, and everything will be back to normal.”

Yugyeom doesn’t tell Bambam that his parents' have even been avoiding his calls. 

Bambam nods his head, understanding that Yugyeom doesn’t want to talk about it. “You must be getting bored though. Even the hyungs are so busy these days.”

“I - I have ways of keeping myself distracted,” Yugyeom says. Youngjae’s name pops up in between the chats and Yugyeom smiles.

Yugyeom wants to tell Bambam, even though they had decided to keep it a secret. He’s just waiting for the right time. Maybe when things become more official with Bambam and Sana, so that Bambam doesn’t have to constantly worry about Yugyeom when he’s with her.

For now, he’s content with Bambam filling up the void in his room with talks of their friends and life.

  


~~~

  


“How do you do this everyday,” Yugyeom says.

When Youngjae had called him over to his apartment, this was _not_ what Yugyeom was expecting.

“How can you _not_ do this everyday,” Youngjae says. He’s bent over the controllers, his eyes completely focused on the video game. Yugyeom is pretty sure that Youngjae wouldn’t even notice if he left.

“Because I have a life,” Yugyeom says. His character’s been dead for ten minutes already, and he’s just waiting out for Youngjae to finish his turn. Or die. However the stupid game works.

“Then how come you’re here,” Youngjae smirks at him and Yugyeom punches Youngjae’s arm.

“Hyung, the way you called me, I thought something happened to you.”

There’s a sudden sound of trumpets and Youngjae screams. A big “YOU WIN” marquees over the screen. 

Yugyeom had just finished his dance rehearsal when Youngjae had called. He had asked Yugyeom if he could come over because there was an emergency, and he had sounded so tense that Yugyeom had immediately sprinted to Youngjae’s apartment without even asking what had happened, huffing and puffing till he was standing in front of the door.

In retrospect, Yugyeom should have definitely asked what had happened, because the “emergency” had turned out to be a team raid for a video game.

“I got betrayed by Mark hyung, that's what happened,” Youngjae says. “And I thought you would have good hand-eye coordination, being a dancer and all.”

Yugyeom pouts. “I don’t think I was that bad.”

“You aren't,” Youngjae says. “It's just that I’m too good.”

Yugyeom chucks his joystick at Youngjae and Youngjae bursts out laughing, his hand crossed over his chest. 

“Since you so kindly came to my rescue, I'll treat you to ramyeon, Youngjae style,” Youngjae says, patting Yugyeom’s knees. “You deserve it, dying so many times must have been tiring.”

Yugyeom sticks out his tongue at Youngjae but follows him to the kitchen nevertheless. He sits at the table as Youngjae goes about opening the cupboards and closing them rhythmically. Youngjae starts singing to himself and Yugyeom starts taping his fingers on the table to the sound.

“You sing?” 

“I - what?” Yugyeom is going through his latest instagram posts, replying to all the comments. He didn’t realise it, but somewhere in between he'd also started singing along.

“You were singing and kinda harmonising with me.” Youngjae says as he carries over two bowls of ramyeon to the table. 

It smells heavenly, and Yugyeom didn’t realise how hungry he was when his stomach gives a low rumble. Youngjae laughs as he hands over the chopsticks.

“I used to sing in school, as a hobby,” Yugyeom says, then adds hurriedly. “But I’m not good like you or Jaebum hyung.”

Yugyeom takes a bite of the ramyeon, and it actually does taste pretty good. “This is actually really good hyung.”

“Thanks.” Youngjae taps his chopsticks against the bowl, in deep thought. 

Yugyeom raises his eyebrows at him. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing like that,” Youngjae says. “It's just that our music club has this performance coming up for the festival, and we are a little short on members since a lot of them have already graduated, and we didn’t get a lot of sign ups this year also.”

Yugyeom nods his head and waits for Youngjae to finish.

Youngjae speaks a little slowly, staring intently in a way that makes Yugyeom feel like he’s being analysed. “We kinda need one more member and I think you would -”

Yugyeom blinks. “Hyung, are you asking me to join your music club?”

Youngjae starts shaking his head. “No, no no - I mean - yes?” Youngjae sighs. “You don’t have to join permanently, just for this one performance. It's more of an upbeat song, and I think you would suit that style. You have a unique voice, with a little help I think you can do great. Plus it's a duet.” Youngae wriggles his eyebrows.

Yugyeom laughs. “Hyung, you’re really dragging me into your shenanigans today, aren’t you.”

“I’m sorry,” Youngjae says. His shoulders droop, and Yugyeom feels a little guilty when he sees Youngjae not smiling. “I totally understand, you’re already busy and I'm stepping out of bounds here.”

Yugyeom bends his head, hiding the smile that's creeping up on his face. “I didn’t say no though.”

Lately, Yugyeom has been thinking about trying something different. Even though school was killing him, and dance practice was tiring, he was still left with enough time to get lost in his thoughts and … he does not like how his thoughts tend to go to sad places when he’s alone. Even with the extra thing he had going on with Youngjae, with Youngjae also being busy because of his music club, that didn’t give them much time together.

So Yugyeom decides to take up the first opportunity he could get.

Yugyeom doesn’t have to look up to see how bright Youngjae looks, he could practically hear it in the way Youngjae screams and claps.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Youngjae says. “I know you’ll do great.”

“You’re just saying that to boost my ego,” Yugyeom says.

“No really, I mean it. Your voice is quite … mellow? And I wasn’t joking when I said it's unique. I’m not gonna deny, you will need a little work. But considering you took it as just a hobby, it's actually really good.” Yugyeom can feel the blush overflowing his cheeks, and it doesn’t help that Youngjae is actually complimenting him with such sincerity that Yugyeom can’t even look at him. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t consider going into singing,” Youngjae says, tilting his head to the side. “You’d have actually made a very good pop singer at the least, maybe even make it as an idol.”

Yugyeom had never told this to anyone except Bambam, but something makes his chest fill with warmth and eases his mind. 

It's probably the ramyeon.

“What if,” Yugyeom says, stirring the ramyeon around with his chopsticks. “I had actually auditioned to be a trainee when I was in middle school.”

Youngjae's eyes widen in shock. “Are you kidding, so did I.”

Yugyeom can’t help the laugh that escapes his mouth. “What if you had actually become part of some idol group? I’m trying to imagine you doing a sexy dance with blue hair and leather suit. And it is _hilarious_.”

“Hey, I can sexy dance quite well,” Youngjae says, shaking his shoulders. “Got you interested, didn't I.” 

Yugyeom shrugs. “Touche.”

“So what happened?” Youngjae picks up their bowls and walks over to the kitchen sink. “Did you make it through the audition?”

“Are you kidding, I got kicked out in the first round,” Yugyeom says. “I’m glad I didn’t make it though. What's the point even, so many people will love you but you can’t even date till you’re like in your thirties.”

“Oh because you have such a happening love life, don't you,” Youngjae says and ruffles Yugyeom’s hair as he passes by. “Speaking of auditions, you will still have to audition to join the club, and umm -” Youngjae squints his eyes and smiles in a way that makes Yugyeom suspicious. “All the senior members will be there for your audition, and that includes Jaebum hyung as well.”

Yugyeom groans as he rubs his hand over his eyes. He just hopes that if he embarasses himself, Jaebum hyung will keep it to himself.

  


~~~

  


Yugyoem surprisingly does _not_ embarrass himself. He had Youngjae to thank for that. Youngaje had taken it upon himself to teach Yugyeom about warmups and how to actually _breathe_ , which Yugyeom didn’t realise was so important. Except for a little voice crack at the start (which thankfully no one laughed at), Yugyeom would even go as far as to say that he might have just aced the audition.

Of course, the change of expression on Jaebum’s face from shock(on seeing Yugyeom audition) to utter surprise (when Yugyeom started singing) to something Yugyeom thinks was admiration, might have inflated his ego just a _tiny_ bit.

He remembers how Youngjae had run upto him after the audition and hugged him with such force that Yugyeom had almost toppled over. 

He also remembers after, when they stole kisses behind the library and how warm Youngjae’s body had felt pressed up against him. 

“I didn’t know statistics was so humorous,” Jinyoung says.

Yugyeom realises that he has been staring at the same problem for the past fifteen minutes. He also realises that there’s a stupid grin on his face, and he didn’t want to think how long Jinyoung has been watching him like that.

“Sorry, was thinking about something else,” Yuygeom mutters under his breath.

“Like your audition for the music club?” 

Yugyeom snaps his head up so fast he’s sure he’s pulled a muscle or two. “Congrats by the way,” Jinyoung continues.

Yugyeom sighs. He should have expected this. “How do you get to know everything? What else do you know,” Yugyeom says, exasperated.

“Why, is there something else I should know?” Jinyoung says, resting his face on his hand, with an innocent look that Yugyeom knows is not at all innocent.

Yugyeom gulps. He doesn’t want to go down this path because he knows if Jinyoung wants, he can pull all the secrets out of him.

Yugyeom takes a sip of his coffee. It’s topped with extra whipped cream, and Yugyeom notes to thank Jackson later for that. “When did Jaebum hyung tell you,” Yugyeom says, trying to change the topic.

“About ten minutes before you arrived.” Jinyoung is smirking at his phone, and Yugyeom pulls on his bangs, hoping that would hide his face. “And he didn’t tell me as much as he showed me.”

Jinyoung raises his phone to Yugyeom’s eyes, and yup there it is, a video of Yugyeom singing. His initial thought is he looks good, which is shallow as hell but Yugyeom doesn’t care, and that his singing is not that bad. But then he starts seeing everything he did wrong, from his awkward stature to his weird falsettos to how he nearly went off key at the end. Whatever satisfaction he felt before gets thrown out the window in an instant.

“Ugh I want to die,” Yugyeom says, putting his head down on the table. “I didn’t know I did so bad.”

“Oh don’t be so overdramatic, you know you sound good,” Jinyoung says.

“No, I sound like a moron,” Yugyeom mutters. “I think I’ll just drop out before people start making fun of me.”

Jinyoung flicks the top of Yugyeom’s head. “Stop acting like a baby. You want to do this, why care what others will think about you.”

“I don’t want people to think what a useless person like me is doing in a music club when I can’t even sing that good.”

Jinyoung narrows his eyes. “First of all do you think Jaebum hyung is an idiot to let someone in with no talent? Even though you're his friend, if he didn’t think you were good, he would have politely told you to fuck off. So if you’re doubting yourself, you are doubting Jaebum hyung’s singing as well, which is honestly the most stupidest thing in the world because that moron has the voice of an angel.”

“Are you trying to comfort me or praise Jaebum hyung?” 

Jinyoung huffs. “Neither. Secondly, we all are useless in some aspect or another. You can’t always be good at everything you try. But you need to stop doubting yourself, Yugyeom. Especially with things you’re capable of.” Jinyoung’s voice is a little soft. He places his hand on top of Yugyeom, giving it a small squeeze. 

Yugyeom loves his brother, he really does, but sometimes he wishes he had Jinyoung while he was growing up. 

“For example,” Jinyoung continues. “Some of us are useless at Probability Distributions, but that doesn’t stop them from doing their assignment does it?”

Yugyeom scratches his head in embarrassment. Jinyoung is pointing at the textbooks, but there’s a small smile on his face. 

“Yeah I really need your help with that, let's get back to it,” Yugyeom says. “And thanks hyung.”

“You’re buying me food next time,” Jinyoung says.

Yugyeom nods his head in agreement. “By the way, please don’t tell this to anyone, for now at least. Especially Jackson hyung, otherwise he’ll keep pestering me to go to karaoke bars with him.”

Jinyoung purses his lips. “About that -”

“Hey Yugyeom,” Jackson says, as he walks by carrying a tray with drinks. “Congrats on the audition man. Can’t believe I’m getting another karaoke buddy!”

Yugyeom groans as Jinyoung bursts into laughter.

  


~~~

  


“You’re doing good Yugyeom,” Jaebum says. “Just use your chest voice more than your head voice, and uhh cool it with those hip thrusts.”

Yugyeom scratches the back of his head as his duet partner, Jihyo, giggles behind her music sheets. They’re in the music hall, practicing for the festival. Yugyeom had suggested incorporating some dance moves with his song, considering they were doing cover of a dance track.

Which promptly ended up making all the girls, and some boys swoon, and Yugyeom was pretty sure one of the sunbaes got a nosebleed as well.

“I’ll keep that in mind hyung,” Yugyeom says.

“Be careful of this one,” Jaebum says, whispering to Jihyo in a mocking tone. “He might just make you fall for him.”

Yugyeom pushes at Jaebum’s shoulder as Jihyo giggles and bows to Jaebum. She gives him this _look_ , and smiles at him as she walks away.

“Hyung stop, you’re embarrassing me,” Yugyeom whines. “And don’t give her ideas, I don't want her to think this is gonna be like High School Musical or something.”

“Jaebum hyung,” Youngjae says suddenly, popping his head from behind Yugyeom. “Daniel said you were looking for me?”

Yugyeom huffs as Youngjae blatantly ignores him, his eyes fixated solely on Jaebum.

“Oh yeah,” Jaebum says. “I wanted you to do Nayeon’s part with me. She’s sick today and I’ve also been a little out of touch."

Yugyeom can literally see Youngjae’s face light up in joy.

“Sure hyung,” Youngjae says, a bright smile on his face. “We can do it tonight? You can come over a little bit earlier and we can practice then.”

“Sounds good. I’ll get some fried rice as well. No cucumbers, I promise.”

They both laugh, and Youngjae playfully hits Jaebum's shoulder. Jaebum gives this fond smile to Youngjae, and they’re both looking and smiling at each other and Yugyeom feels like he's encroaching on a very intimate moment.

“What's wrong with cucumbers,” Yugyeom mutters.

Both Jaebum and Youngjae look like they’ve been rudely awoken. Yugyeom wants to laugh at their surprised look on seeing Yugyeom still standing there.

“Oh it's nothing, I just don’t like them,” Youngjae says. He suddenly opens his mouth wide and slaps Yugyeom’s shoulder. “Yugyeom, you were so great today! And wow those dance moves ...” Youngjae lets out a breath. “I feel like I saw something R rated.”

“If you think that was too much, you should see Jaebum hyung. He overdoes it more than me.”

Youngjae raises his eyebrows and laughs loudly, as Jaebum pretends to raise a hand at Yugyeom.

“Really? I’ve actually never seen you dance ...” Youngjae says softly to Jaebum.

“Yeah, you couldn't even see the festival last year, you were so sick that time.” Jaebum rubs Youngjae’s shoulders, and a small brush creeps on Youngjae cheeks.

Yugyeom feels like a third wheel all over again.

“You should come to our dance practice sometime,” Yugyeom blurts out.

Jaebum glares at Yugyeom but Youngjae just squeals in glee.

“Seriously? I would love to, if that's okay with you?” Youngjae turns towards Jaebum.

Jaebum’s expression immediately changes to a fond smile and Yugyeom feels like he might puke.

“Of course! You’re always welcome,” Jaebum says. “Promise not to laugh at me okay? It makes me distracted.”

Youngjae is looking at Jaebum like he’s the only thing that exists in this world. “I’m sure I would be more distracted by your talent to do anything else but sit and watch.”

Yugyeom really wants to pull his hair out at this blatant flirtation that is happening before his eyes.

Jaebum bids them goodbye, citing the amount of work he has left to do for his thesis as his excuse. Yugyeom notices how Youngjae keeps looking till Jaebum’s silhouette is out the door.

“You guys are so whipped for each other, it's not even funny anymore,” Yugyeom whispers in Youngjae’s ears.

“Oh shut up,” Youngjae says. “He was just being nice. He’s like that with everyone.”

“Are you kidding me,” Yugyeom nearly shrieks, and Youngjae raises an eyebrow at him. “He’s like that with literally no one. Is he like that with you all the time? No wonder you guys are always in a corner in your own little world. He definitely has something going on for you.”

“You think so?” Youngjae says, his eyes filled with hope.

Yugyeom nods his head. “You should seriously go for him before someone else snatches him up.”

Youngjae has this blank expression on his face, and Yugyeom wants to ask if Youngjae even heard what he said but something gloomy washes over Youngjae’s face.

“No, I don’t think he thinks of me that way,” Youngjae says. “He’s just fond of me, that's all. Better not to get my hopes high and lose his friendship also.”

Yugyeom rubs Youngjae’s back, understanding where Youngjae comes from even though he wants to push Youngjae to just go for it. 

“Hey let's get something to eat. My treat,” Youngjae says.

Yugyeom really needs to watch his diet, he’s been hogging too much with the stress of handling too many things at a time taking a toll on him. But Youngjae looks like he needs a distraction.

And Yugyeom is not the one to say no to free food.

“I’m in. Can we get some cucumber salad though?”

Youngjae pinches his arm but there’s a small smile on his face. As they make their way through the campus, with Youngjae reciting with immense passion just how much he hates cucumber, Yugyeom realises that he had been smiling so much the entire time, that his face actually starts hurting.

  


~~~

  


Yugyeom is doing warm ups with Momo, when his phone starts ringing. He normally doesn’t take calls during dance practice, but the moment he sees the caller ID, he immediately picks up the phone.

“Dad?”

“Yugyeom, it's been so long!” His dad says. “Why don’t you keep in touch.”

Yugyeom wants to roll his eyes. It was typical of his parents to pretend like they didn’t just scream at him the last time they talked and that it was actually _them_ who had been avoiding his calls. But Yugyeom doesn’t like fighting with his parents, so he doesn’t bring it up.

“Sorry dad, got caught up with school.”

They talk for some time, his dad telling him to come home for the weekend to meet some folks from the company, to assure him about his position once he graduates.

There’s a big sigh from the line when Yugyeom doesn’t say anything.

“Listen I know you’re getting worried, but you don't have to. We got you covered okay?”

“Okay,” Yugyeom says. He’s never doubted his Dad, but it doesn’t seem to work the other way round.

“How about we go hiking this next weekend?” his Dad says, a little too cheerfully. “You like hiking. You won’t even have to miss class.”

“I’ll see Dad, I’m kinda busy with things,” Yugyeom says. “I’m not being difficult, I swear,” Yugyeom immediately adds when his Dad _tuts_. “I really have some stuff to catch up on. But I promise I’ll visit you guys this weekend.”

His Dad sounds beaten when he speaks, and Yugyeom tries not to let guilt take over.“Okay then, take care Yugyeom.”

Yugyeom hates to see his parents sad. Even though they might have different plans for him, they’ve shown him love since day one, and Yugyeom doesn’t want his parents to think they’re not appreciated, even if they don’t agree with him sometimes.

“I will. And Dad, thank you. For everything.”

  


~~~

  


“I am not letting you guys talk me into this again.”

“But we need seven people to play.”

“Why are you so insistent?” Yugyeom says, narrowing his eyes at Bambam. “You hate soccer, even more than I do.”

Bambam starts blushing, and Yugyeom thinks he knows why. “Well, Sana and her friends are gonna cheer for us so ...”

Yugyeom rolls his eyes in disbelief. 

“C'mon do it for me please?” Bambam says, jumping up and down on Yugyeom’s bed.

“Fine fine, but you owe me. Big time,” Yugyeom says.

And that's how Yugyeom finds himself on the same field he swore he’d never set foot on again. Everyone else is there as well, with big smiles and bright eyes, as if they haven’t been losing every single match they’ve ever had.

Sometimes he hates how easily swayed he can get. 

There’s a bunch of girls screaming and cheering on the bleachers. Bambam sends a flying kiss towards Sana, and everyone squeals. Yugyeom pretends to gag when Bamabm meets his eyes.

Well at least he has some new material to tease Bambam with.

“Sorry I’m late,” someone huffs out from behind him, and Yugyeom is surprised to see Youngjae in a soccer uniform.

“It’s alright, we were just warming up,” Jackson says, patting Youngjae on the back. “Game won’t start for another fifteen minutes.” 

Yugyeom feels kind of bad for Youngjae. He already looks out of breath with the way his mouth is hanging open. Yugyeom’s sure Youngjae is too nice to tell someone to fuck off when they ask for a favour. 

“So which one of these people manipulated you into joining the game?” Yugyeom says, grinning at Youngjae.

Youngjae raises his eyebrows. “Did _you_ get dragged against your will or something?” 

Yugyeom nods his head. “Yup, the only reason you’ll see me here is either a, emotional manipulation or b, I’ve been bribed with food. I guess it's something similar for you as well?” 

Jackson is screaming at the back, calling everyone for a strategy meet. 

“It's something like that,” Youngjae says, winking at Yugyeom. As he walks away, Yugyeom notices that Youngjae’s name is actually printed on the back of his jersey.

Huh, he didn’t know Youngjae was a soccer fan.

As they huddle around and discuss their positions, Yugyeom notices Youngjae suddenly giving tips on how to beat the opponents defence and listing everyone’s strengths and weaknesses. And judging by everyone’s look, he isn’t the only one surprised.

“Youngjae,” Jackson says, raising his eyebrows. “How do you know so much? Are you a pro?”

Youngjae laughs, shaking his head. “Just a fan of the game.”

The whistle blows, and five minutes into the game Yugyeom realises that Youngjae is a big, fat liar.

He wasn’t “just a fan”, Youngjae actually played like he knew what he was doing. He manages to run across the field, successfully interpreting the ball from the opponent team and actually scores a goal.

Everyone goes wild.

Seeing Youngjae play so well fires everyone up and even Yugyeom found himself putting in more effort than he normally does. Even the opponent team seemed to be put off guard, not expecting such a cinnamon roll to play so fiercely.

The game ends, and for the first time in their life, they actually manage to win by 2-1. Everyone jumps on Youngjae, screaming their lungs out. 

“Youngjae you’re so great!” Mark says, rubbing Youngjae’s head.

“You are officially the coolest person I ever know,” Bambam says, holding onto Youngjae’s arm. Something feels heavy in Yugyeom’s chest, and he has this sudden urge to seperate them both.

“Stooop you guys are making me blush,” Youngjae says, a big smile on his face.

“Why did you hide your talents from us,” Jackson says.

“Man, you must have been laughing your ass off, looking at us play like idiots all this time,” Jinyoung says.

Even the opponent team’s captain, Namjoon or whatever, comes over and congratulates Youngjae.

“Guys I don't think I’ve ever been this happy,” Jaebum says, his hand on his chest. “In fact I’m so happy, the food and drinks on me!”

There’s a loud cheer, and everyone starts clapping. 

Yugyeom walks up to behind Youngjae. “Good game, MVP, ” he whispers in Youngjae’s ears.

Youngjae turns around to give a small smile to Yugyeom. He opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly Jackson and Jinyoung pull at his arms and drag him away, grinding him for details about his hidden talents. 

Yugyeom watches them walk away, the heavy feeling returning in his chest.

“Do you, by any chance ... ?” Bambam says. Yugyeom turns around to see Bambam giving him a weird look.

“Do I what?” Yugyeom says.

Bambam shakes his head. “Never mind. Anyway I’ll just go say bye to Sana, will meet you guys at the restaurant.” Bambam waves as he runs towards the bleachers.

Suddenly Yugyeom feels alone. Mark and Jaebum are walking together, deep in discussion, and there is no one left for Yugyeom to walk with.

He doesn’t know why, but he feels irritation run through his body when he sees Youngjae walking arm in arm with Jinyoung and Jackson.

As he follows quietly behind, a string of confusion forms as he can’t make up his mind about who exactly he is jealous of.

  


~~~

  


The smell of freshly grilled meat and kimchi fills the air in between the laughter and cheers. Yugyeom thinks he doesn't even need to get drunk, the rush from the win already giving him a high. And judging by the look on everyone’s face, the feeling seems to be mutual.

Youngjae is at the other end of the table, carefully putting each piece of meat on the grill and laughing at whatever Jaebum’s saying. Youngjae's eyes meet his own, and they immediately turn into tiny crescents. He feels flushed on being caught and turns his attention towards Jackson who’s in deep conversation with Mark.

“I think I might tell him ..” Mark is saying.

“Tell whom what?” Yugyeom cuts in between.

Both Jackson and Mark nearly jump at being interrupted, surprised to see Yugyeom beside them.

“Nothing,” Mark says, at the same time as Jackson says “Mark’s gonna ask Jaebum hyung out.”

Yugyeom nearly chokes on his food. 

Mark pinches Jackson arms. “What the heck Jackson.”

“Whoops,” Jackson says, covering his mouth.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Mark says, patting Yugyeom’s back and handing him a glass of water.

“I won’t,” Yugyeom coughs out.

Yugyeom had thought of Mark and Jaebum as friends, something like Bambam and himself, but less crazy and more mature. He thought Jinyoung was just joking around when he teased Mark about Jaebum.

“I didn’t even know you liked him. At all,” Yugyeom says.

“Are you kidding me,” Jackson says, a big smile threatening to tear his face. “Mark’s been having a thing for Jaebum hyung since they were both undergrads. The only thing he would talk to me about was Jaebum this or Jaebum that. At least he’s a little better now. In fact,” Jackson says, leaning in closer as Mark covers his face with his hands. “Mark went to grad school just to spend more time with Jaebum hyung.”

Yugyeom’s jaws drop. “Mark hyung, you’re quite ... intense.”

“Jackson finds it hard to believe that I’m actually interested in furthering my education,” Mark says.

“Oh cmon,” Jackson says, rolling his eyes. “You have a big house in LA and your family’s filthy rich. You could have gone to any number of grad schools in US if you were so bothered about your _education_.”

“Maybe Mark hyung doesn't want to depend on his parents for everything,” Yugyeom says. Maybe Jaebum might have played a small part in Mark’s decision to stay here, but Yugyeom understands the need to set a path for yourself. Mark fistbumps Yugyeom in agreement. 

There’s a noise and suddenly everyone’s laughing. Yugyeom turns around to see Youngjae clapping his hands, as Bambam is profusely apologising and simultaneously laughing at Jaebum, apparently having hit Jaebum with one of the tongs.

Yugyeom smiles at the scene, and suddenly remembers. “What about Youngjae hyung?”

Mark raises his eyebrows. “What about him?”

“Doesn’t he .. also .. have a thing for Jaebum hyung?” Yugyeom says, somewhat awkwardly.

“He does?” Jackson says, tilting his head in confusion. “I thought he was already over his little crush.”

Mark nods his head. “Me too.”

“Jaebum hyung is very fond of Youngjae,” Jackson continues. “He probably likes him more than all of us combined, but I don’t think Jaebum hyung thinks of him in a romantic way. But he might have something for Mark, from what I’ve seen.”

Yugyeom chews on his lower lip. There’s a wave of guilt washing over him, as he realises he might have given Youngjae false hope.

“Well, all the best hyung,” Yugyeom says, trying not to think about it too much. “If it works out, promise to make Jaebum hyung do aegyo in front of everyone.”

  


~~~

  


Things at the restaurant are slowing down. There’s a lull from the previous energy, but nobody wants to leave yet, the air drawing in the type of conversations which pulls your guard down and want to reveal your innermost thoughts.

Yugyeom had been telling Bambam about his gig with the music club and was about to mention Youngjae, but Bambam had to leave as he had an early morning class the next day. Yugyeom thinks he should tell Bambam soon, about the _thing_ with Youngjae.

Speaking of.

“You still have some meat left on your end,” Youngjae says, flopping down beside Yugyeom. “Mind if I steal some?”

“Of course,” Yugyeom says, bowing his head mockingly. “Anything for the MVP.”

Youngjae slaps Yugyeom’s arms. “Oh shut up, you guys are too much.”

“How come you never told us,” Yugyeom says, leaning on his hand as Youngjae stuffs his mouth with food. “You could have spared us all the embarrassment.”

“Jaebum hyung knew.”

“Your entire link to this group is with Jaebum hyung only, isn't it.”

“It used to be.” Youngjae turns towards Yugyeom, and Yugyeom has this sudden urge to squish Youngjae’s cheeks. “But now you guys know it too.”

“Why didn’t you try for the Uni team?” Yugyeom says. “Jackson hyung says that Namjoon sunbae thought you were really good, and he’s like a pro.”

Youngjae is smiling at Yugyeom, a small glint in his eyes. Yugyeom raises his eyebrows in question.

“You ask a lot of questions,” Youngjae says. He’s still smiling.

Yugyeom shrugs. “I’m curious.” He doesn’t add the _about you_ that comes in his mind. “Does it bother you?”

“It did, the first time,” Youngjae says. “But now, I just feel flattered with all the attention.”

Yugyeom taps his fingers lightly on Youngjae’s arm. “Then prepare yourself to get flattered even more. Tell me your story hyung, I want to know.” 

Youngjae laughs. “Okay then. I was a state level player, back in middle school in Mokpo. Music has always been my first love but soccer was my life. I dreamt of playing for the national team. I was even listed to receive a scholarship for college. But then, in the first year of high school I made a choice. Remember I told you I auditioned to be an idol trainee?” Yugyeom nods his head in response. “Well, I actually made it through and was part of the trainee program.”

Yugyeom’s eyes widen in shock. “Wow, that's amazing.” 

Yugyeom makes the connection that it doesn’t turn out the way it should have, because Youngjae is here next to him and not on some stage with thousands of fans chanting his name.

“Well, as you can guess, I didn’t make it through. Heck I could barely last in the program for six months. It was too hectic, and took a toll on my mental health. I was alone in the city and didn’t have anyone for support. The moment I realised this was not what I wanted, I immediately left. But it was too late. All that dieting and extreme training affected me physically. I lost half my strength and stamina, and could barely make it back to my high school team. My condition was so bad, I was benched till the last year of school. Needless to say, I lost my chance at a scholarship as well.”

Yugyeom gulps. Even though Youngjae is smiling, there’s a ghost of despair written all over his face. 

“That sucks,” Yugyeom says.

Youngjae is picking at his sleeves. “You know what sucks even more? Because I left before my contract expired, I had to pay back the company for the money they invested for my training. And let me tell you, that ain’t cheap,” Youngjae laughs, a bitter sound.

“I love to sing and it gives me so much joy to sing for others but I couldn't handle everything else that came along with. And with that, I lost everything else I already had.” Youngjae turns towards Yugyeom, a sad smile on his face. “I guess that's what happens when you hope for higher than you can reach.”

Yugyeom hates seeing the once smiling Youngjae dejected in himself. He thinks he understands Youngjae a little better now and why Youngjae pulls back from what he wants. Yugyeom places his hands over Younjae's, and gives it a small squeeze.

“I’m sorry, I brought the whole mood down didn’t I,” Youngjae says, scrunching up his nose.

Yugyeom shakes his head. “I’m glad you told me. I want you to tell me more. I want to know everything about you hyung.” Youngjae is looking at him, his eyes soft and that heavy feeling returns in Yugyeom’s chest.

Yugyeom realises he might have said a little too much.

“I mean, you could have trained with some future idols," Yugyeom says, trying to lighten the mood. “You have to give me some dirt on them.” 

Youngjae bumps his shoulder against Yugyeom’s. “Shut up, you’ll get me sued.” Youngjae turns his hands over from beneath Yugyeom’s and Yugyeom interlocks their fingers together.

They laugh and talk till eventually they’re ushered out of the restaurant, their hands clasped tightly together the entire time.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drink a glass of water everytime Yugyeom groans, and stay hydrated
> 
> As you can see, I have no idea how video games or soccer/football works @_@  
> I noticed there was a lot of mistakes in the first chapter, and I tried to make sure to edit this chapter as much as I could, but still I applogise for any errors!  
> Thank you for the lovely comments as well, really gives me motivation to write even more ^_^
> 
> Also, who else is excited with the comeback! This is the first time I've actually enjoyed all the songs in Got7's albums, I think they did really well! Also the visuals are no joke this era omg.
> 
> Updates will be every other week~
> 
> Meanwhile just look at [these boyfriends](https://twitter.com/lingerinmeadow/status/1253305159796486145?s=20)


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